off to a great start

This evening, there was a voice mail message from a woman who is presumably Ezra's new kindergarten teacher. A thick, syrupy, Southern drawl voice mail, which, because I'm a snob from the Northeast, immediately turned me off. But let's be honest; isn't that justified? Doesn't everyone with a thick Southern accent have a borderline IQ? I mean, hasn't that been scientifically proven?

She was calling to welcome Ezra to her classroom, she said, except that she didn't call him Ezra; she called him Cameron. And then the message cut off mid-sentence, and there was no follow-up phone call.

Because of the way she spoke--have I mentioned her thick accent?--I was only able to discern her first name. But I went to the school web site, looked up the kindergarten teachers, and figured out who she was. It was the one teacher I didn't like when I visited the school, the one teacher I hoped Ezra wouldn't get. She was too brusque, it seemed, not enough warm-and-fuzzies. Conversations with other parents confirmed this impression for me.

Parents aren't allowed to make requests for specific teachers, but I had been told that it was okay to write a letter describing Ezra, and the school would do its best to match him up with the right kind of teacher. Which is what I did at the beginning of the summer. And not only did I write the letter; I also sent it!

In it, this missive of masterful prose, I talked about, among other things, the fact that Ezra had his own internal disciplinarian and needed someone with a heart, not some ice-cold beyotch less strict and more loving. (Stupid Daddy, who reviewed the letter, suggested that I explain that I'm Jewish and this level of over-involvement is to be expected in the coming years, and also that there is a lawsuit pending if the school missteps even a little, or if our son is not accepted to one of the "big three" Ivy League schools later on. I left all that out. They'll figure it out soon enough.)

So, okay, I guess my writing isn't as persuasive as I had previously thought. And I guess we'll tolerate this frigid spinster seasoned veteran of the public school system for a year. But is it too much to ask for her to get Ezra's Cameron's ?????? my son's name right?