I'm looking for work; would you like to hire me?

I'm a writer who, as of late, has trouble stringing together two coherent sentences. You can just forget about whole paragraphs!

I used to be a "detail-oriented" grammar maven with an eagle eye for the errant typo. But alas, those days are gone too. Now even the most glaring errors escape my notice.

It takes me forever to come up with the right word for something. I just retyped that last sentence four different ways--and there sure wasn't anything special about it. So I work really slowly and will cost you lots of money.

I know next to nothing about this so-called "Internet" and am afraid to learn.

My very small store of confidence is dwindling by the day. So much for an employee with a can-do attitude!

I want to make my own hours and work from home and I cop an attitude with bosses. Many companies have hired me for a project and then never asked me to work for them again. I called into work tired once. I got fired once.

Samples and references available upon request. Thank you for your consideration.