Thursday, August 2, 2007

off to a great start

This evening, there was a voice mail message from a woman who is presumably Ezra's new kindergarten teacher. A thick, syrupy, Southern drawl voice mail, which, because I'm a snob from the Northeast, immediately turned me off. But let's be honest; isn't that justified? Doesn't everyone with a thick Southern accent have a borderline IQ? I mean, hasn't that been scientifically proven?

She was calling to welcome Ezra to her classroom, she said, except that she didn't call him Ezra; she called him Cameron. And then the message cut off mid-sentence, and there was no follow-up phone call.

Because of the way she spoke--have I mentioned her thick accent?--I was only able to discern her first name. But I went to the school web site, looked up the kindergarten teachers, and figured out who she was. It was the one teacher I didn't like when I visited the school, the one teacher I hoped Ezra wouldn't get. She was too brusque, it seemed, not enough warm-and-fuzzies. Conversations with other parents confirmed this impression for me.

Parents aren't allowed to make requests for specific teachers, but I had been told that it was okay to write a letter describing Ezra, and the school would do its best to match him up with the right kind of teacher. Which is what I did at the beginning of the summer. And not only did I write the letter; I also sent it!

In it, this missive of masterful prose, I talked about, among other things, the fact that Ezra had his own internal disciplinarian and needed someone with a heart, not some ice-cold beyotch less strict and more loving. (Stupid Daddy, who reviewed the letter, suggested that I explain that I'm Jewish and this level of over-involvement is to be expected in the coming years, and also that there is a lawsuit pending if the school missteps even a little, or if our son is not accepted to one of the "big three" Ivy League schools later on. I left all that out. They'll figure it out soon enough.)

So, okay, I guess my writing isn't as persuasive as I had previously thought. And I guess we'll tolerate this frigid spinster seasoned veteran of the public school system for a year. But is it too much to ask for her to get Ezra's Cameron's ?????? my son's name right?


BrianJ said...

surely you at the very least anticipated (and more likely attempted to provoke) a response form this accented Southerner. how does that carly simon lyric go? of course it was about me!

good luck with kindergarten and ezra's ivy league ambitions.

Deb Abramson said...

What are you, a psychologist or something? A psychologist with a Southern accent?

BrianJ said...


dogfaceboy said...

Ya'all don't know what yourin are in fer.