We're in the car on the way home from swimming and dinner at Grandma's this evening.
Ezra: When did this whole world get built? And b, who built it?
Stupid Daddy: Mommy, I think he's talking to you.
Me: No, I think it's your turn to field one of these.
Stupid Daddy [clearing his throat]: Four billion years ago.
Ezra: And who built it?
Stupid Daddy: God. God built the world.
Me [looking at Stupid Daddy like, When the hell did you get all religious and shit on me?]: ......
Ezra: Is God still alive?
Stupid Daddy: Yup.
Ezra: Where does he live?
Me: Who says it's a he?
Stupid Daddy [looking at me like, When did you get all feminist and shit on me?]: In heaven. SHE or he lives in heaven.
Me [looking at Stupid Daddy like, Don't you know that heaven doesn't exist and even if it did, we wouldn't believe in it because we're Jewish?]: .....
Ezra: Daddy, you're not making sense. First you tell me that God is still alive, but when I ask you where he lives you tell me heaven. Daddy? Heaven is where dead people go.
Me: Yeah, Daddy. That doesn't make any sense.
Stupid Daddy [whispering]: Well then you answer the goddamn questions!
[silence for a minute]
Ezra: Where do seeds come from?
Stupid Daddy: From plants. They make their own seeds.
Me [not sure this is the case but wanting to see what will happen]: No, I think he means where did the first seeds come from.
Stupid Daddy [glaring at me]: .....
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2 comments:
Read this one out loud to my husband for a giggle. Reminds me of when my daughter asked me about baby origins, and I went into (I thought) a simple and G-rated explanation of how Daddy's seeds are planted in Mommy's body, and a baby grows there, inside Mommy's tummy. I was utterly pleased with my parenting skillz until she asked, "Yes, Mommy, but how do Daddy's seeds get into your body to make a baby?"
hah...I miss y'all. Hope things are well.
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