Thursday, July 19, 2007

learn from my mistakes

Right after you've moved into your top-to-bottom-renovated home with "oatmeal" berber carpeting in the bedrooms, do not administer children's ibuprofen in any one of said bedrooms.

Or if you do, be very sure that you've actually screwed the cap back on instead of just resting it ever so gently on top of the bottle, so that when your toddler tries to pour out the contents while you're busy encouraging your five-year-old to blow his nose with gusto, not like a pansy-ass loser, godammit, so that some snot actually comes out into the tissue, she won't be able to, thanks to child-proof-cap technology, and your carpet will remain gloriously pristine, and your husband won't be mad at you, even though he was the one who brought the ibuprofen into the boys' bedroom in the first place and handed it to you, and when you give ibuprofen, you always bring the child to it instead of it to the child, except that tonight it was right there in your hand and you decided to live a little on the edge, and now there's a faint orange stain right in the middle of the room.


Stacy said...

oh, darling, always, always, always buy the dye-free kind. That red crap won't come out of anything.

Deb Abramson said...

I didn't know such a thing existed! And it still tastes okay to kids?