Do you ever pick up your three kids from school at 5:30 and have at least one of them screaming at you, but more often two of them, and intermittently all three, for the next 2 hours and 15 minutes but who's counting until they're tucked into bed?
Does your eldest child ever pick at his dinner and then ask for yogurt only to have two bites and then ask for cheese, only to have two bites and then smear the rest all over your cabinets?
Does your middle child ever torment your youngest, slamming into her and knocking her down in the tub, squeezing her around the neck, poking at her dolly, apparently oblivious to her shrieks?
Does your youngest, out of the blue, just when her two older brothers are at their demonic worst, start acting her age, pitching fits about every little thing, heaving herself backwards onto the hardwood floor, which of course only initiates another round of screaming? Does she ever insist on doing herself all the things she can't actually do herself and then demand help and then, when you give her the help she's asking for, turn away from the enterprise in complete irritation and disgust?
Yeah, that never happens to us either.
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Um, yes, but mine scream off and on for upwards of four or five hours, because I never put them to bed early like I've heard all the good mothers do.
And yes, but it's usually my middle child who picks at dinner, or refuses it, and then announces he's hungry as we're putting him to bed. And yes, he usually works up that hunger gleefully torturing his baby sister all evening long, although he's not oblivious to her shrieks, rather, I think he considers them an accomplishment of sorts.
And finally no, my youngest is a perfect angel, except for when she's not, but she's not yet doing that thing where I'm not allowed to help her. But she'll probably start that today or tomorrow just because I called her an angel.
In solidarity,
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