Saturday, July 21, 2007

what ever happened to the simple questions like, "Where do babies come from?"

We're in the car on the way home from swimming and dinner at Grandma's this evening.

Ezra: When did this whole world get built? And b, who built it?

Stupid Daddy: Mommy, I think he's talking to you.

Me: No, I think it's your turn to field one of these.

Stupid Daddy [clearing his throat]: Four billion years ago.

Ezra: And who built it?

Stupid Daddy: God. God built the world.

Me [looking at Stupid Daddy like, When the hell did you get all religious and shit on me?]: ......

Ezra: Is God still alive?

Stupid Daddy: Yup.

Ezra: Where does he live?

Me: Who says it's a he?

Stupid Daddy [looking at me like, When did you get all feminist and shit on me?]: In heaven. SHE or he lives in heaven.

Me [looking at Stupid Daddy like, Don't you know that heaven doesn't exist and even if it did, we wouldn't believe in it because we're Jewish?]: .....

Ezra: Daddy, you're not making sense. First you tell me that God is still alive, but when I ask you where he lives you tell me heaven. Daddy? Heaven is where dead people go.

Me: Yeah, Daddy. That doesn't make any sense.

Stupid Daddy [whispering]: Well then you answer the goddamn questions!

[silence for a minute]

Ezra: Where do seeds come from?

Stupid Daddy: From plants. They make their own seeds.

Me [not sure this is the case but wanting to see what will happen]: No, I think he means where did the first seeds come from.

Stupid Daddy [glaring at me]: .....


texasgurl said...

Read this one out loud to my husband for a giggle. Reminds me of when my daughter asked me about baby origins, and I went into (I thought) a simple and G-rated explanation of how Daddy's seeds are planted in Mommy's body, and a baby grows there, inside Mommy's tummy. I was utterly pleased with my parenting skillz until she asked, "Yes, Mommy, but how do Daddy's seeds get into your body to make a baby?"

BrianJ said...

hah...I miss y'all. Hope things are well.