an epistolary cat fight, annotated

Sonia*,
After finding out that foam mats can be effectively spot-cleaned, we have decided that buying you a new mat is not necessary. And in any case, we are not especially invested in going out on a limb for you.** You reap what you sow in this world.
Deb and Stupid Daddy

Deb and Stupid Daddy,
Considering that foam reacts as a sponge I believe the pee has soaked through and spot cleaning will not effectively clean the stain. I will appreciate the foam being replaced, thank you. It seems our level of affection for one another is mutual. I have no doubt you both are wonderful human beings. I however do not deserve or need the level of judgment I heard yesterday.*** You can have that back and perhaps use it towards something else. Stupid Daddy, compassion and gentleness is a wonderful approach with me.
Namaste,
Sonia

Interesting, Sonia, that you ask for compassion and gentleness and yet what you give--despite all your "namastes"--is aggression, anger, criticism, bossiness, and complete inflexibility. Here is a cleaning product that has worked perfectly for us. You can wring out the area and then let it air dry. Please return it when you are finished.
Deb

Thank you for the cleaning product. It is your integrity. I believe that the nature of the situation is the fact that my bed was not stained before. It was done by a cat you have taken responsibility for and my wishes need to be honored however I surrender as far as I don't need to let this affect my peace of mind, body, or spirit. I hear a lot of perceptions and accusations. I believe we are inner reflections so possibly this is what is in you as well. I noticed a dog has gone to the bathroom in the path of the yard. Not something myself or anyone needs to step in. I will not say for a fact it is Moxie. Shall she do this perhaps teaching her alternative places will help.
Namaste,
Sonia

I'm sure you do hear a lot of "perceptions and accusations." If they are consistent--and my hunch is that they are--perhaps you should start listening to them. As a neighbor noted when I mentioned what Eloise had done, "That cat was just acting out everyone's wishes." Speaking of wishes, why is it that you "need" to have your wishes honored but feel completely entitled to ignore the rest of the world's? I'm so curious to know what kind of logic goes into that.
"Namaste,"
Deb****

*Yes, that's her name. I'm not sure why I was so committed to keeping that a secret. It's not like she has some top secret job like my husband or anything, and constantly referring to her as "Iris' mom" made for some clunky phrasing, for sure.
**Specifically, I was talking about the fact that Iris had just been banned from coming over to our house "ever again" (though she did sneak over to deliver this news, and has continued taking the compost to the compost bin via the first floor of our house). When I asked her if her mom had explained why, she said, "Yeah. She said that her and Stupid Daddy got into a fight...," and then she kind of trailed off. The ban is clearly our punishment, although I'm sure Sonia invented all kinds of important reasons that it had to happen--for example, the fact that we have really bad karma.
***Being told her treatment of Iris was "cruel."
****This last note was intercepted by Stupid Daddy. I'm willing to consider the possibility that this was a prudent move on his part, but I definitely haven't been sold on the idea yet.

So here we are. Nothing has happened in the last day-and-a-half except that I have snuck over a few times to shift the doormat--which is always perfectly square with the threshold of the front door--so that it's ever so slightly askew, first one way, and then the other way, and then back again. I know I'm just being juvenile, but I feel kind of like the nuns in The Sound of Music when they steal the ignition cable from the Nazis' car so the Von Trapps can escape into the mountains. And I need to have that honored.