Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Jesus was definitely not the word

Ezra’s sweet teacher called me back Sunday afternoon.

“Sorry I’m so late returning your call,” she said. “I had family in over the weekend, and today I was at church all day. We’re hosting a group of homeless women so I was helping to set up.”

For real, she said this.

And then she went on to say that the "word" that had gotten Ezra in trouble in the library last week was fuck-a-duck.

Except she totally pussied out and said f-a-duck.

I’m a little disappointed in Ezra. I’m bummed that he didn’t go great guns. Sure, he started out strong with the fuck, but then he went and ruined it with that lame-ass kindergarten rhyming action.

He was telling the truth when he said his friend Justin had taught it to him. That’s not the way we swear in this house. (Not that we ever swear, unless we’re mildly irritated or vaguely frustrated or really upset or trying to emphasize a point or tired, in which case the swearing is 100 percent justified.) When we swear, we do it with gusto; and I guess I expected the same from my five-year-old.

Truth is, I had kind of hoped that my cocksucker guess was balls on.

1 comment:

Story said...

Well...lol I dont even know what to say. All I did was laugh while I read this..as usual.