Sunday, November 18, 2007

that didn't go so well

Stupid Daddy dutifully went over to talk to Iris' mom about real or imagined pee stains on Friday. She was on the phone and as he left he heard her say, "I feel like you're dancing around this. You can be straight with me."

Right.

She must have registered that he was there, because she came over later to talk to him. In the interim, however, Iris had made a panicked appearance wondering if she had left the key to her building's laundry room here. The key was missing and no one in the building could remember who had it last, but her mom was taking away her allowance anyway. (Let's set aside for a moment the question of the legitimacy of docking her allowance had she in fact lost the key and note the following: what an insane bitch!)

So when Iris' mom showed up, Stupid Daddy asked her, "So you're willing to admit you don't know if Iris lost the key and you're still taking away her allowance?"

Sho' nuff.

"That's cruel," Stupid Daddy said.

At which point mom, who had deigned to step into our entryway, backed out, claiming she didn't need to be spoken to that way. And then, without missing a beat, she asked whether we were going to replace her "ruined" mat.

"Sure," Stupid Daddy said. Which obviously wasn't what I was hoping for, but I wasn't there having to deal with her and her toxic cloud of bullshit, wishing she'd get the hell out of my face, so who am I to criticize?

"Great," she said. "I need a full-size pad. And I need the extra-thick kind." To demonstrate exactly how thick, she had both hands in front of her like she was bringing a triple-decker sandwich up to her mouth, never mind that she'd never even allow herself to be in the same room as a triple-decker sandwich. "And when do you think you'll be able to get it for me?"

I have to give her props for so magically roping us not only into buying the freaking thing, but also into actually running the errand on her behalf.

But then we jointly decided, Fuck it! We don't owe this woman anything. And I wrote her a note to that effect.

Things have been rather tense ever since.

4 comments:

family-of-five said...

can we invite her over for din--I mean, raw carrots and uncooked barley or something, when I come visit? she sounds like a hoot.

but seriously, this is making my stomach hurt. I just keep worrying about Iris. given all the psycho games mom's playing that you're aware of, I just keep imagining what's going on behind closed doors.

Melissa said...

Iris is so lucky to have you and your family in her life. You are going to be such a huge part of who she is!

Elizabeth Coplan said...

The negative energy this woman puts out is astounding! Sorry you have to go through this. I know how draining it can be.

Cheers, Elizabeth

Ginny said...

Anxiously waiting to hear what happens next...this person is unbelievable. Poor, poor Iris.