sharpen your pencils

1. Which of the following best describes Stupid Daddy's performance on the exam he took a couple of months ago (answers on page 278):
a) orgasmic
b) passed with flying colors
c) good enough
d) god fucking damn it! do I just go ahead and kill myself now?

2. What is the relationship between the date of the retest and the stress level of the grown-ups in the house, with a being the date and b being the stress level?
a) a has no effect on b
b) as a approaches, b increases, which is pretty scary since b was nothing to sneeze at to begin with
c) a and b are like ships passing in the night, except that they high-five each other and do a belly bump on the way
d) a keeps trying to break off the goddamn relationship, but b is a bit of a stalker

3. Which of the following best describes conversation among the grown-ups during the period of intensive study prior to the exam?
a) supportive; we're still good to each other even during difficult times
b) strictly business; there's just no time for pleasantries
c) peppered with all kinds of swearing; tension turns us into drunken sailors
d) what conversation?

4. What is the most plausible explanation for Stupid Daddy's performance the first time around?
a) Ezra
b) Levi
c) Lilah
d) all of the above

5) What safeguards have we put into place to ensure that these do not affect his performance negatively again?
a) Netflix upgrade
b) wishful thinking
c) lucky underwear
d) prayer