Wednesday, April 9, 2008

I never should have taken that hit of acid

Last week, I started going to acupuncture to get Stupid Daddy off my back per my husband's thoughtful recommendation to see if I could get the anxiety and depression I've been dealing with my entire adult life--and especially lately--under control.

I tried acupuncture once before, when I was in my twenties, and didn't notice a lick of difference. (I've also tried a whole mess of other alternative stuff too--like reiki, holotropic breathwork, a vision quest, a shaman--and felt the same, even though I desperately wanted something to happen.) Still, I've never categorically written off the treatment; I just assumed I was one of those people it didn't work for.

But something's happening this time. Like today, I was lying on my stomach with a whole mess of needles in my back, peering through the hole those tables have so your spine can stay aligned. And all of a sudden, the view to the base of the table and the floor below telescoped, and I was floating way high above the table, and I was dying. I WAS DYING! And I was weeping because I was really sad that I wasn't going to see my family ever again. Stop it! It was really fucking sad.

And then, just like that, everything was back to normal again. I dozed and then they woke me up and I paid, which woke me up a bit more, but I've been spacey all day.

So I don't know what it all means, but I'm encouraged. Because I'm someone who has never ever left the ground, you know? Never left reality. My stagnant liver qi must be getting worked over. My yin and my yang must be working it out. This crazy needle shit must be working.

3 comments:

Cheri said...

Do you think it means that a part of you was dying, the depression and anxiety were floating away, leaving behind the healthier you?

Wow! Incredible story. Thanks for sharing it. Wow.

family-of-five said...

out-of-body experience = cool. and it sounds like a positive hallucination--like you were getting rid of sadness and anxiety. when are you going back?

Reba LV said...

I don't know what it means but it happened to me back when I was 18 (back in the 90’s, not 60’s)...and I was in a VW bus with some peace lovin’ hooligans enjoying a “typical” Tuesday afternoon. It came on suddenly; I was sad, miserably sad and aware that people were all around me (even though I wasn’t “there” and they couldn't hear me) and I had to say goodbye to those I loved. It was most bizarre and I somehow escaped it and I didn’t feel any part of me died like in a mental sort of way…besides a few brain cells maybe. The way you described your experience was EXACTLY what I experienced. Who knows? Maybe it was a level of sub-consciousness reach through a perfect storm of mind, spirit & body stimulation. Freak out!