Thursday, January 31, 2008

um, what?

As I've mentioned a time or ten before, Iris has been banned from our house because of that thing we do where we feed kids a balanced diet and laugh with them and demonstrate love and in so doing brainwash them into being normal and healthy. Still, we see her many times a day. She comes over on her way home from the bus stop; she comes over when she's out looking the three pieces of random trash her crazy mother insists she collect every afternoon; she comes over when it's time to take out the compost after dinner; she comes over on her way back.

That she has managed these nighttime visits is perplexing to me. At 10:02 on the morning after Iris slept at Pixie and Ava's, Sonia called their dad complaining that Iris was supposed to have been sent home at 10:00 and why wasn't he honoring that. She also grounded Iris for an entire Sunday because she forgot her vest at another friend's house and had to go back and get it around the corner, thus throwing them off schedule by about 45 seconds. And yet somehow, Sonia doesn't seem to notice when a trip out back that should take two minutes regularly takes 20, because Iris is at our house eating our leftovers and watching TV.

Perhaps because she gets away with all of this, Iris has gotten bolder about her visits in recent weeks. For example, on afternoons when she has finished her chores and not been grounded for one reason or another, she'll tell her mother she's going over to somebody else's house but secretly come over here to play with our kids (and whatever other kids happen to be here) for a couple of hours. And she'll come over, too, on evenings when Sonia goes to Qi Gong to maintain her enlightened and loving state and has left Iris behind (which, in her mind, is perfectly acceptable now that Iris has a cellphone, courtesy of her grandmother).

One afternoon earlier this week, she came over thinking Sonia had gone for a walk. But the doorbell rang a few minutes later, and there was Sonia looking for her daughter. So Iris was busted. And grounded.

And then that evening, she came over to deliver this note:

Deb and Alex,

Iris told me that from time to time she decides to visit your home after school. Shall the situation occur again please ask and send her home right away. Thank you.

But then Sonia apparently thought about it some more and realized the note lacked the appropriate nuance, because today Iris came over with this:

Deb and Alex,
Iris has informed me that in the past you have had knowledge that she does not have permission to be over. I need to please have things honored when it comes to Iris. Thank you.
P.S. At this point I believe it is okay for her to occasionally come over. Once again I need honesty when it comes to Iris and when I make a choice about Iris for it to be honored. Iris does however need to come home after school. Thank you.

Yeah, okay. We'll get right on that.


Paida said...

Oh my God I love those notes.

KD said...

don't know if you've read this blog:

but it is great. people send in passive aggressive notes to the site and they are posted... i know i'm writing about an older blog post of yours, but i thought it would fit. hope your trip is/was great.