letter to the subscriptions department

To Whom It May Concern:

Lilah received her complimentary copy of your magazine in the mail today.

Thank you so much for spelling her name correctly. Not every lad mag does.

She certainly seems to be enjoying it.



However, while the "gift of bocce" may indeed get you into a woman's "backyard" (p. 49), and while "Ring of Fire: An Oral History of the Daytona 500" (p. 92) is most certainly a thoroughly researched piece that brings this "thrilling, violent, whiskey-soaked" contest to life, and while I myself am dying to hear the "original American Gladiators tell all about their crazy days of spandex-clad superstardom" (p. 35), it is my belief that Lilah is a bit too young for these topics and the rest of the content within your highly respected magazine. As her parent and legal guardian, I will have to pass on a subscription.

You might consider trying us again in a few years, once she hits kindergarten.

Sincerely,
Her MILFy superhottie vixen hot-as-a-monkey-in-a-firestorm mom