Monday, January 14, 2008

secret boyfriend #2

May I present to you...
Evan Dando.

He's the only serious bad boy on my ever-lengthening list, which I know you're dying for me to divulge all at once, in a deluge, a divulgence delugence, if you will (and Blogger, will you just stop it with your annoying perforated red underlines, your meek acceptance of the whole "spelling" paradigm), but I have to hold back because I need you, reader #1 and reader #2, to keep visiting me. I'm lonely.

Speaking of lonely, let's get back to Evan. Just--mmm. I actually met this dude right before he launched into drug-addled stardom. My college friend Ivan, whom I wrote about here, was friends with him in high school, gave the Lemonheads (Evan's first band) their name, and even graced the cover of one of their early albums.

During one of our breaks freshman year, we went to CBGB to see the Lemonheads play, and before the show, Evan came over to say hi to Ivan (which reminds me of that David Letterman bit at the Oscars whatever year that was--"Uma, Oprah," "Oprah, Uma"), and Ivan introduced me, and I was like, "Hi," and then back to staring at the table, because I was too shy and repressed to even pay any attention to the fact that an Adonis was standing right in front of me. Plus I was about ten pounds overweight (which, when you're 5'2", and you're me, is about 10% of your body weight, i.e., a lot) and growing out a really lousy short haircut.

Which sucks, because I'm sure if I had held his gaze for any length of time, he totally would have wanted to sleep with me.

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