Friday, December 14, 2007

some correspondence

Deb and Alex or Alex and Deb,
I hear and choose to accept that the two of you chose not to purchase me a new mattress after your cat urinated on the one I use. I spoke with a man who sells foam mattresses at Foam and Fabric yesterday and he says the stain remover will only help take off the surface of urine and whatever has soaked through is not going to come out with stain remover. Hearing this new information I need you to reconsider and buy a new mat to replace the one I have now please.

a) So is this what "choosing to accept" our decision looks like?
b) Does it make any sense that one liquid (the urine) would soak through while another liquid (the stain remover) would not?
c) If she needs someone else to tell her the mat is soiled, is it really soiled? Cat pee is pretty unmistakable.

We never responded to this one.

A while back I heard you ask the question why is it so important to me not to have toys [meaning the very occasional ball that rolls or gets hucked from our yard and is then forgotten] in the yard [meaning the parking lot behind her house where literally the only thing people ever do is get into and out of their cars] and my answer to that is I have enough to take care of between Iris and I. I really thought about it this morning as I looked out the window to see the blue ball in the yard over here. I believe the wind blew it over and I am not angry or irritated, my point being when the toys are in the yard of the house I live in [meaning the triplex rental that she rents an apartment in] I feel the need to pick it up and for me that tends to bring up a feeling of being overwhelmed. I choose to release it.

Feeling overwhelmed by the sight of a ball; that's some hard core mental illness right there.

We didn't respond to that one either.

Deb and Alex,
A letter to inform you that one of the cats went to the bathroom on my lamp. I have chosen to give it away. I realize that the lamp is still in working condition. I find cat pee not very clean and I don't need to live with that in my house. I will appreciate the consideration of at least a $10 settlement. I mainly am writting this letter because I need to acknowledge and have the incident heard and acknowledged by you. I did not say anything at the time of the occurance simply because I did not believe it bothered me. I choose to let it go. Thank you.

a) Again with the demands--"I will appreciate...."
b) So she "chooses to let it go" assuming we pay her at least $10 (but she'll accept $100 as well, all in tens pleases)?
c) Again, her being upset about the idea of cat pee, rather than being bothered by an actual odor or stain, really shouldn't be our problem.

Dear Sonia,
Sorry about the lamp. I never saw it, but it's difficult to imagine that it couldn't have been cleaned. We encourage you to keep the cats out of your apartment.

I will let you know that it was a lamp with fabric on it. I simply let it go it isn't worth it. I suppose that since you do not sleep on cat pee it is not your concern. Thak you for the advice. I give that back. Iris and I don't need to keep the windows closed out of fear that animals will pee on our things. It is however a great idea that I do not invite them in or that is okay as well. Most people take responsability for the actions of thier pets however possibly you are an exception, of course I do not know you well enough to judge. Thank you for hearing me and acknowledging the occurance. I choose to let it go and release it now.

a) Screens.
b) A wet cloth.
c) Stain remover--for example, the all natural kind we gave her, and which she refused to use, after the first incident.
d) Is she taking the advice or giving it back? Is she letting it go or hanging onto it or releasing it? My god, it's like watching a tennis match with her.

I haven't responded to this one yet. I might not ever. I'm really busy these days taking no responsibility for things.


tiny tin bird said...

Those notes. I can't handle it. Are they handwritten? I wonder what a handwriting analyst would say about her script. Aside from the obvious.

Tina Rowley said...

These are real? These are real notes written by a real person? These aren't clever little McSweeney's pieces? This is nonfiction? Ai yi yi.

My mind is rebelling. I choose to release it. I let it go. Please give me ten dollars for having thought about it.

BrianJ said...

she tries so hard to claim how free of all this she is yet is so clearly consumed by it.


Paida said...

I swear to god you could publish the collection of these notes and it would be a bestseller - I am thinking a "postsecrets" kind of book.

Then you should choose not to share any of your earnings with her and release it. {I know letters can not be published with out permission by the author - does the same hold for notes?}

I kind of feel bad about the amount of entertainment these letters provide me. I mean I am sure it is annoying as hell to live next to this woman.